For a long time, the answer to who should pay for the wedding felt pretty fixed. Traditionally, the bride's parents picked up most of the bill, with the groom's family covering a few specific costs. Fast forward to now, and that rulebook is basically obsolete.
Today's weddings are funded in all sorts of ways. Couples often pay for a large chunk themselves, families may contribute what they can, and everything usually comes down to open conversations rather than tradition alone. Ability to pay, personal priorities, and how the couple wants their day to look all matter more than outdated expectations.
That said, understanding where these traditions came from can help set expectations and make planning conversations a lot smoother. Here's how wedding costs were traditionally split, and how that compares to modern weddings.
Who Traditionally Paid for What?
Engagement Party
Traditionally, the bride's family hosted and paid for the engagement party. This was seen as a way to formally announce the wedding and welcome the groom into the family. Costs covered everything from invitations to food, drink, and decorations.
These days, engagement parties are far more flexible. Couples often host their own, split costs between families, or skip it entirely.
Rehearsal Dinner and Pre-Wedding Celebrations
Historically, the groom's family paid for the rehearsal dinner, usually held the night before the wedding. It was a more relaxed event for close family and the wedding party.
Other celebrations like hen parties, stag dos, and bridal showers were (and still are) typically organised and paid for by friends, not parents.
Wedding Ceremony and Reception
This is where the biggest costs sit, and traditionally the bride's family covered most of them, including:
- Ceremony venue or church fees
- The bride's outfit
- Flowers and decorations
- Photography
- The reception venue, catering, and entertainment
The groom's family traditionally paid for:
- Officiant fees
- The groom's outfit
- Bouquets, corsages, and buttonholes
- The honeymoon
In reality, very few weddings follow this structure now. Most couples split these costs themselves, sometimes with financial help from one or both families.
Rings, Transport, and Other Extras
Traditionally:
- The groom bought the bride's ring
- The bride (or her family) bought the groom's ring
- The bride's family covered transport for the wedding party
- Each family paid for their own invitations and accommodation
Again, these "rules" are rarely followed today and are usually handled in whatever way works best financially.
So, Who Should Pay for the Wedding Today?
Short answer, there is no single right answer. Modern weddings are usually funded through a mix of:
- The couple's own savings
- Contributions from parents or other family members
- Carefully planned budgets (and occasionally loans, though these should always be discussed openly)
What matters most is clarity. Everyone involved should be on the same page about who is contributing, how much, and what that money is being used for. Our Wedding Budget Guide and Free Spreadsheet helps you to do this easily.