It always surprises us when we hear a bride or groom planning to ask a friend or relative to provide the skilled services usually delivered by an experienced wedding professional, on a wedding day.
iNews reported on the cost-saving steps some couples are taking, including asking friends and family to help on their wedding day, so we thought we'd share a few more reasons why it makes us so anxious:
1. It's unfair on your friend
Ask any professional supplier and they'll tell you it's much more stressful to provide their services to someone they know - and they are trained to do the job without a second thought. Add the pressure of not knowing what might go wrong, and the lack of a back up plan (see point 5) and the increased odds that something WILL go wrong, and your friend won't thank you for putting them through the experience. If you want them to enjoy your wedding day, don't ask them to work on it!
2. It rarely saves money
Saving money is often cited as the reason to use a friend to supply a service, but it often costs more. Disappointing photos take hours of editing time to correct, the back-up dessert can cost as much as an inedible or collapsed wedding cake.
Your friend will need to do at least one practice run, which costs time and money, and we can't count the number of couples who have contacted us after the practice run hasn't gone to plan, needing to book suppliers at the last minute, and paying over the odds to do so. To add to that, professionals can buy in bulk and at trade prices, so you get more for your money, particularly when it comes to flowers, food and photo albums.
3. You don't want a wedding disaster
Would-be Bake Off chefs have been behind plenty of amusing “collapsing cake” stories, but amateur chefs have also been behind far more serious wedding catering disasters. You and your guests want your wedding day to be memorable - but for the right reasons.
4. Experience is everything
We've all been to events with DJs that empty a dance floor faster than covid, or have seen un-treated table decorations catching fire and bouquets and buttonholes wilting before anyone has said “I do”.
When you use a wedding professional you get the benefit of years of their own experience as well as the combined shared experience of their professional network. It's unfair to expect friends or family members to know the tricks of the trade if they aren't in the trade!
5. Back up plan
Wedding professionals always have a back-up plan; cake makers have spare tiers ready to go in their freezers and exhibition cakes to go on display at a moment's notice. Photographers have a backup camera, memory cards and a second shooter that they can call on at short notice. All professionals have the backup of their industry network to help them in a crisis, and if all else fails, they have the back-stop of insurance to cover costs resulting from their failure.
6. Corkage, cakeage and kitchen hire
A few wedding venues will allow couples to bring in their own wine, or use their kitchens to heat and serve food you have supplied, but for most, it simply isn't worth the reputational risk or the clean up costs.
If you supply your own wine, you'll need to factor in the corkage charge for the wine to be stored, chilled and served, glasses to be supplied and washed up, and empty bottles to be disposed of. A number of venues apply a charge if you supply a homemade cake, as they are much harder for them to handle and serve (some venues will even have a spare on standby for you!) and you should expect to pay upwards of £500 for the use of a venue's kitchen if you are supplying your own food.
7. Insurance and risk assessments
Every element of your wedding carries a risk to your guests and the professionals working on your wedding day. As such, every element needs to be risk-assessed and insured against. Top DIY wedding risks include food poisoning from catering, cakes or toxic foliage and flowers, falling flower arrangements or cakes, trip hazards; especially during setting up. Reputable venues will ask for proof of insurance from anyone working on or supplying a wedding, as they won't want to carry the liability themselves.
8. Your wedding is an important day
Your wedding day is important to you and your loved ones. You'll want it to be as special and stress free as possible. Giving your family and friends the day off should be the first step, but using the best professionals you can afford, to deliver an exceptional experience for you and your guests, comes close behind.
Our advice
Keep the DIY elements to the little personal touches that add to the day; it's lovely to see handmade signs and decorations, or personalised favours for guests to take home. Use professionals for everything else.
To save money if you are on a budget:
- Choose a midweek date if you can, as venues and suppliers can be more flexible on prices on days they aren't guaranteed to have other bookings.
- Speak to professionals to get their advice on how you can still access their service, but within your budget. They will be keen to help you find a way.
We will be sharing the top cost-saving tips from professional photographers, cake makers and florists over the next few weeks.