As part of a series of stories from real couples discussing their wedding planning experience, we hear from Nitara. As a British born Indian, Nitara explains the traditions of an Indian wedding, specifically a Kerala Hindu wedding day...
There are many traditional aspects to an Indian Wedding and therefore I will explain the 10 weird and wonderful facts of what to expect from an Indian, specifically a Kerala Hindu Wedding, in the modern-world. From sacred blessings, to the fragrant flowers, read this list to find out the meaning behind each part!
1. The wedding date is determined in the stars
Before the wedding, an auspicious date and time is fixed for the event. Using the couple's dates of birth, astrologists calculate the position of planets and stars to reflect the celestial union of the couple. Thanks to Covid, 31st May 2020 became 23rd August 2021 and we tied the knot between 11.38am and noon.
2. Guests are greeted with lime!
Upon arrival, guests are greeted and offered limes as a goodwill gesture for their presence. Limes are traditionally used to make lime juice to aid digestion of the feast eaten at the wedding.
3. The significance of jasmine flowers
Flowers are an important feature at weddings in many cultures. Jasmines are easily available in India, especially South India, and come cheap too. At Kerala weddings, jasmines are everywhere. On the bride’s hair, guests hair and even part of the wedding décor. The sweet fragrance of jasmine is known to have a calming effect on the brain.
4. Deeper the colour
The bride applies henna to her hands before the wedding. The belief is that the deeper the colour, the more she will be loved by husband.
Fun fact: The bride is also forbidden from doing any housework as long as the colour of the bridal henna remains on her hands, making the longevity of the henna all the more desirable!
5. The glittery bride
The bride is draped in a sari (traditionally red but not the case anymore) and wears gold jewellery which traditionally was her dowry but in modern days, is often a gift to the bride from her parents.
6. The father of the bride gives his blessings
The moment the bride’s father gives the bride away is known as the kanyadhanam. During this ritual, the father of the bride places his daughters hands onto the grooms hands as a gesture of giving her away. Holy water is poured into the brides hands which will flow through her fingers and into the hand of her groom. This signifies that the bride’s father is giving his blessing and permission for their marriage to take place.
7. The fire as witness
Agni (a sacred fire) is called the purifier and is given importance in every ritual. Marriage is the start of something blessed and divine for two people to lead their lives as one and so who better than Agni-The Purifier be the witness.
8. The couple exchanges floral garlands
This is the part of the ceremony during which the couple exchange floral garlands. This expresses the desire of each individual to marry each other.
9. Red powder is applied to the bride’s hair
The red powder (known as sindoor or kumkumam) symbolises the bride’s new status as a married woman.
10. Finally, it's time for the bride to leave.
You need a heart of stone and tear glands as dry as the Sahara desert to not cry in this situation! After the wedding ceremony, the bride arrives to her husband’s home and is ushered in by her mother in law. The bride must take care to enter the house holding a diva lamp with her right foot first to ensure good luck and plenty for her new family.
There are many other elements to a Kerala Indian wedding as it is impossible to define the phenomena into just 10 points! Here are some more if you are interested: Posing endlessly for the photographers. Washing the groom's feet to welcome him. The milk and banana ceremony (boiled milk, eurgh!). Oh and uncles and aunties hunting for suitable partners for their single kids (Binay and I are glad to be off the market!)
This blog is part of a three part series. Look out for the next instalment in September 2022.