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Yes, I’ll Marry You by Pam Ayres

Yes, I’ll Marry You by Pam Ayres

Izzy Turner-Hicks
Izzy Turner-Hicks Updated:
4th of September 2023

Looking for a funny wedding reading? Yes, I'll Marry You by Pam Ayres is one of our favourite wedding poems...

Funny wedding readings

Wedding Poem: Yes, I'll Marry You

"Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear.

And here’s the reason why:

So I can push you out of bed

When the baby starts to cry.

And if we hear a knocking

And it’s creepy and it’s late,

I hand you the torch you see,

And you investigate.

Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear,

You may not apprehend it,

But when the tumble-drier goes

It’s you that has to mend it.

You have to face the neighbour

Should our labrador attack him,

And if a drunkard fondles me

It’s you that has to whack him.

Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear,

You’re virile and you’re lean,

My house is like a pigsty

You can help to keep it clean.

That sexy little dinner

Which you served by candlelight,

As I do chipolatas,

You can cook it every night!!!

It’s you who has to work the drill

And put up curtain track,

And when I’ve got PMT it’s you who gets the flak,

I do see great advantages,

But none of them for you,

And so before you see the light,

I DO, I DO, I DO!!"

What we love about this wedding reading

This poem is light hearted and fun. Wedding ceremonies can be very deep and emotional and so if you are looking for some light relief, this one will bring about few giggles from your wedding guests.


From the experts

I absolutely adore this reading because it brilliantly blends humour and understated romance, avoiding any hint of melodrama. Wedding readings can often fall into the categories of serious or overly sentimental, so introducing a Pam Ayres poem like this will inject a dose of comic relief into the moment, leaving your wedding guests pleasantly surprised and ensuring that your ceremony remains unforgettable. As I put on my English Literature graduate hat, let's expand on lines such as "I do see great advantages, but none of them for you" - a brilliantly clever line that adds the humour but has a much deeper meaning. It suggests that the author views the proposal of marriage as a stroke of luck for themselves. In my opinion, when both partners feel they've struck gold with their choice, you've got a relationship that's destined to go the distance!
Nikita Thorne Guides for Brides
Nikita Thorne, Wedding Planning Expert and Newlywed

Couples who may like this reading:

Anyone can use this reading, but here are some qualities of relationships that we feel "Yes, I’ll marry you, my dear." would work for:

  • Couples who are opting for a civil ceremony or celebrant to officiate their wedding. This isn't a religious reading.
  • Couples where the phrase "opposites attract" works perfectly to describe their relationship.
  • Couples who have good banter between them and don't mind poking fun at each other.
  • Couples that don't want their wedding readings to be too serious or overly romantic.

See more ideas for wedding readings here. 

Izzy Turner-Hicks

About the author

Izzy Turner-Hicks

Izzy has been writing about weddings for nearly 10 years. Izzy is recently married and since her big day, she's been able to add her own experience of the planning process to her articles.

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